Five minutes to make this meal

So here’s the thing about food. You need it. Everyday. What you eat is entirely up to you, but let’s talk about all of your options. OPTION ONE: Spend tons of money eating out with ingredients that are likely unhealthy for you. OPTION TWO: Heat up a frozen meal with the sodium equivalent of a salt lick, and high fat content accompanied with scabby cheese and minimal flavor. 

OPTION THREE: You can cook. I’m talking about preparing meals like a boss by throwing something healthy together in five minutes that looks and tastes delicious. Something like this: 

Scrambled eggs on a sprouted wheat bagel with a scallion, tomato, avocado salsa. Smoked salmon on the side? YES.

Scrambled eggs on a sprouted wheat bagel with a scallion, tomato & avocado salsa. Smoked salmon on the side? YES.

We whipped this up in five minutes honey! Scrambled eggs on a sprouted wheat bagel with a scallion, onion, tomato and avocado salsa. Although Craig doesn’t eat seafood, it was his idea to put the smoked salmon on the side. It was a breakfast that just came together because we had the ingredients and the patience to do it. But it requires some personal character too. Here’s what you’ll need to do in the kitchen to eat well:  Continue reading

Posted in Breakfast, CTGL Tip, Dinner, Gluten-free, Late Night Snack, Lunch | Tagged | 2 Comments

Rib Eye Steak with Parsley Butter, & Lime, Pomegranate Asparagus

Pan cooked rib-eye, cooked to perfection. via @cookthisgetlaid

Pan cooked rib-eye, cooked to perfection. via @cookthisgetlaid

Penned by Craig

You thought this was a vegetarian/vegan blog, didn’t you? Well, me and my wife cook for every type of eater (except the unhealthy kind). And even though I’m a vegetarian, I know how to make a great steak and cook them for my wife.  Mona is an amazing cook, but she’s not confident on the grill or with most cuts involving a cow. And though I won’t touch the stuff, I love her enough to show my mastery with a rib eye.  This time we even brought in the skills of her chef cousin, Rashida, to take things up to another level.

And while some do not consider eating a steak particularly healthy, we do. Within reason. She eats steak maybe once or twice a year. But that works for her. We’re not here to preach to you about what is healthy for you. That’s what this blog is about, discovering what works for you on the stove AND in the bedroom.  Continue reading

Posted in Dinner, Lunch | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

Excuse me, Steak & A Blow Job Day?

This just in, a new holiday on March 14th. Today is Steak & A Blow Job Day. Yes, you heard me. A response to the overwhelming female enthusiasm around Valentine’s Day, S&BJ Day is designed to cater to the male side of the relationship-maintenance spectrum. The creators describe it this way:

“Over the years, Valentine’s Day has become a commercial holiday for women. On February 14, intimate couples celebrate their love with candy, flowers, greeting cards, and other gifts of affection.

Men do not want candy. Men have no need for flowers or teddy bears. There are two things men want: steak and a blowjob.”

“Puh-leeze,” was my first reaction. My husband gently replied, “It’s not such a bad idea Mona. It’s really funny, straightforward, and men would go nuts over it.” He laughs at his bro joke. “Sorry for that pun. You already know what my favorite meal is. Just give us a day. It’s not even a day! Plus, it’s something to laugh about while you enthusiastically celebrate this holiday once a year.” He smiled. I did too. But that got me thinking. Wouldn’t men prefer to have a blow job and their favorite (preferably healthy) foods more than once a year? Because if you do the relationship right, you won’t need an annual holiday. Here’s what you do:

  • Take the time to listen to us.
  • Cook a healthy meal for yourself and your loved ones.
  • Encourage her to be at her best.
  • Prepare a healthy and delicious snack.
  • Ask questions and listen to the answers.
  • Bring chocolate and wine to bed.
  • Tell us the reasons why you believe us to be beautiful.
  • Make sure that our favorite healthy foods are on hand.
  • Encourage and empower us.
  • Make us laugh.
  • Cook for us consistently, or clean up after we do.

Because I have a partner that fulfills these needs, steak and a blow-job day isn’t much of a stretch. So if there’s anything harmless and playful that we can throw into the marriage, I’m game. 

Beyond Meat, is an amazing plant-based, gluten-free protein.

Beyond Meat, is an amazing plant-based, gluten-free protein.

I’ll be making him Beyond Meat’s Chicken-Free Strips covered in a vegan gravy. He LOVES this dish. I have no idea why he would choose this, but it doesn’t matter. A side not: if any of you are looking for a gluten-free, soy-free, vegetarian alternative, this company makes some delicious plant-based food with fantastic consistency. Here’s more advice on how to create a year-long S&BJ Day. Post blow job, ask her this question, “Is there anything I can do for you?” Oh men of the planet Earth, do you want a highly attentive, loving and sexual partner? Then ask her this question often. Let me repeat that: ask her this question often. Women: I hear some of you already. Turning your noses up in distaste, and feeling that this is demeaning. But if you’re in a loving relationship with a man, consider this: he is basically a caveman in jeans and sneakers. Indulge him and make sure you keep it simple. My girlfriend already texted her man with an easy, understated and direct invitation:


Understand, this is less about the ‘holiday,’ and more about creating a relationship that works FOR YOU. No matter what you do, make sure that it suits both of you, is fun and where you look after one another. 

I have my own response to Steak & A Blow Job Day, because Valentine’s Day just doesn’t do it for me. April 14th is hereby designated as Eat-A-Pie & More Day. And to prepare you for this very special day, have Key & Peele prepare you:


Just kidding on the Pie Day thing. Kind of.

NOTE: By the way Steak and a BJ Day creators, you’re brand is absolutely perfect to partner with BJs Restaurant. I’ll never look at them the same way again.

Posted in CTGL Tip | 2 Comments

Better Than “Egg” Salad

"Craig Salad," or better than egg salad. Lovingly created by my husband, Craig. via @cookthisgetlaid

“Craig Salad,” or better than egg salad. Lovingly created by my husband, Craig. via @cookthisgetlaid

My husband sometimes heads into the kitchen and putters around like he’s doing nothing. But I know better. I hear the occasional clanging of bowls, opening of refrigerator, spoons and a manly grunt of approval. You know that sound, “Umph.” Or, Uh-huh.”

He’s got some serious instincts when it comes to cooking. He made the world’s best vodka pink sauce from scratch many years ago, and each time we prepare it for others they are wowed. Same goes for his eggless “egg” salad, lovingly titled: Craig Salad.

Before we go into this, I have a severe dislike of tofu. Rather, disdain of it’s mistreatment. My omnivorous sensibilities can’t comprehend how cooks underutilize and under season this white slab of blandness. I only like it (sometimes) in Asian restaurants. But I’ve come around thanks to my main squeeze/vegetarian husband, Craig. Continue reading

Posted in Appetizers, Breakfast, Dinner, Gluten-free | 1 Comment

CTGL Tip: Your grocery list is bound to fail, unless you do this

Our Groceries app, THE app for organizing your food.

Our Groceries app, THE tool for organizing your food.

A frequent conversation in my world goes something like this, “Mona, I need some help with planning my meals. I never know what to buy, I run out of stuff, and I throw a lot of food away.”

“Tell me this, do you make a shopping list?”


“Well, that’s where I recommend you begin. A shopping list isn’t enough. Make a menu, THEN create a shopping list.

That person shoots me an evil look.

People get downright dismissive, upset or immediately call my credibility into question. It’s alright though, I understand. It’s extra work. And in today’s world, who has time for it? I do, because I’m less likely to eat poorly if I plan my meals. And because of my complete lack of self-control around any type of fried potato or cheese puffs, I have to avoid them altogether by never having them in my home.

If you hate throwing food away, then this is the task you must embrace. Because no matter how detailed your shopping list, you seem to run out of that one item, or have way too much of another that inevitably gets dumped in the garbage.

I learned this years ago as a waitress. Just picture organizing an enormous kitchen: multiple pantries, frozen and refrigerated walk-ins with hundreds of pounds of produce and meat. If the chef doesn’t plan properly, food will go bad, the restaurant will lose money, and they’ll be out of business soon enough. It’s an art form figuring out how to keep the right supplies stocked while keeping the menus fresh and interesting. When I used to wait tables at Ciudad Restaurant in downtown LA, I would study Chef Kasja Aljer with her inventory list, cookbook and notebook. She was fastidious, resembling a scientist preparing her kitchen/lab. And that’s when it hit me: no matter what size your kitchen, there’s no way you can operate without organization and a plan. Which is why I do it every week. Here’s how I take that leap:

  1. Make a list of the things I want to eat for the entire week. This includes the day of the week, or whether it’s breakfast, lunch or dinner.
  2. Note which necessary foods and produce are already in my cupboard and fridge.
  3. Make some adjustments of our menu according to my own (or my husband’s) wishes.
  4. Sit down and figure out what ingredients are needed to complete the recipe. 
  5. Create a shopping list based on your findings from 1-4.
  6. Look at my budget.
  7. Go shopping.
  8. Place the menu on the fridge door so that I can see what the next meal is supposed to be.

I know it seems daunting. But count on your favorite repeats. You already know the regular items you like to keep handy, that you have Tacos on Tuesdays or a pot of chili on Wednesdays.  The hardest part is getting used to making the menu first, and sitting down to figure everything out. But you will see a difference in your wallet. Here’s my Sample Weekly Menu. And the accompanying Sample Weekly Shopping List to get you started.

And if you want to take your list/menu making ability into 2014, get these apps to streamline the process.  The Our Groceries app makes my methods seem as if they were created in 1999. It’s free, can be used on Apple and Android devices and is my favorite. I’ve also used the Out of Milk and Grocery IQ apps. Both are very good, but I’ve found that Our Groceries works best for my family. But test out the free ones and see if they’re good for your eating lifestyle.

As always, let me know if you have questions: mona (at) cookthisgetlaid (dot) com.


Posted in CTGL Tip | Tagged | 4 Comments

Almond, vanilla, coconut smoothie

A Vanilla, Almond Smoothie. Completely healthy, filling and easy. By Mona Holmes @cookthisgetlaid

A Vanilla, Almond Smoothie. Completely healthy, filling and easy. By Mona Holmes @cookthisgetlaid

There are two schools of thought on smoothies. 

School of Thought #1
by Cook This…Get Laid creator & wife: MONA

“What woman doesn’t want a smoothie? I always want a sip full of good flavor, sometimes slightly sweet, and is filling at the same time. In the warmer months, they’re refreshing.”

School of Thought #2
by Husband of the beloved Mona,  
aka passive participant of this blog team: CRAIG. 

“This is easy, cheap and fast. Women love smoothies. They drink them and say it’s a meal. I don’t understand how they believe this, because a smoothie doesn’t really hold up as lunch, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that this takes less than five minutes to get from prep into your glass, and her making a big deal that you made something delicious for her.” Continue reading

Posted in Dessert, Drinks, Gluten-free, Late Night Snack | Tagged , | Leave a comment

The Healthy Chocolate and Wine Combination

If you're not putting together wine and chocolate properly, you are missing out on some potential health benefits!

If you’re not putting together wine and chocolate properly, you are missing out on some potential health benefits!

Yes, you read that correctly, wine and chocolate can do some good things for your body. I wrote about these health benefits of combining chocolate and wine together on the Huffington Post a few years back. So I must share it with you on Valentine’s Day.

With expectations running high, Valentine’s Day is tough to get right if you’re a man. So let’s just call February 14th exactly what it is — a chick holiday. It’s all about getting what women really want: romance. But a man’s truly successful date has St. Valentine delivering what men really want: sex.

It’s time to transform Valentine’s Day into something that men truly appreciate. And you do that by preparing a meal for your sweetheart. Or make dessert. If you include any of her favorite ingredients then you’ll come out way ahead. The Huffington Post already has some spectacular recipes. But if you’re short on time or flat out forgot to do something special, I have the suggestion: wine and chocolate.

Why are chocolate and wine the perfect choice? When you present this to her, you win in three ways. First, we consider chocolate one of the ultimate treats in life. Two, we get to pair this with wine. Three, when you CAREFULLY* explain to her that this is a fat-burning meal, she’ll be grateful. Continue reading

Posted in CTGL Tip, Dessert, Drinks, Late Night Snack | 1 Comment

What Men & Women REALLY Want For Valentine’s Day

What’s the first thing you think of when you hear the phrase, Valentine’s Day?

WOMEN: Chocolate!

MEN: Oh shit.

I know it sounds harsh. But I mince garlic and not words on my blog.

Many women have high expectations for this day, and men are largely indifferent. As we speak, there are mass amounts of confusion over what to do on the 14th. Men everywhere are scrambling around trying to place a last minute reservation, shop for the “perfect” gift, and are reading into various dropped hints from their beloveds.

I’m here to make sure men and women get what they want. Guys, all we want is romance. So many of you already know this. There are many definitions for it, but mine is the most accurate: just make us feel like the most amazing woman on earth. Ladies, the guys just want to be at the source of our happiness. And they’d like a “little” something too.

Now that you’re asking, “So what do I do?” I’ll show you.

Continue reading

Posted in Appetizers, Breakfast, Cocktails, Dessert, Dinner, Drinks, Gluten-free, Late Night Snack, Lunch, Salad | Leave a comment

Romance & grilled cheese

A gluten-free grilled cheese sandwich.

A gluten-free grilled cheese sandwich.

On Saturday night, my husband made me a grilled cheese sandwich. I was knee deep in blog writing mode, when my beloved sat a platter next to my laptop along with a glass of wine. I stopped and did one of those girly, deep inhale/press my hand to my chest/smile and start to tear up moves. Before I could compose myself to ask him anything, he confidently said, “I looked up how to pair grilled cheese with wine on the web.” The man knows me. The next moment saw me standing up from my desk to hug, kiss and thank him. But after taking a single bite and sipping the pinot noir, I stood up to hug, kiss and thank him again.

Some of you might be thinking, “You let that man get you on sandwich night?” Let me call your attention to something very key in the world of romance and food: his kindness and thoughtfulness on a random evening is the textbook definition of romance.

As the designated day of romance is drawing near, (Valentine’s Day is Friday), oh how the articles/blog posts have started. The titles don’t vary much from year to year, and it’s my job to take note of them. From the requisite, “How To Rekindle Romance.” Or, “Try These Aphrodisiac Foods,” I can’t get inspired by them at all. One quick look at today’s headlines are not doing much in the romance innovation department, with “10 Great Date Ideas For Every Couple.” And, “Original Gift Ideas for Valentine’s Day.”

Um, yeah. How’d they make Valentine’s Day sound so boring? So textbook? So pale? Also, applying romance to one day of the year is limited thinking. Most women I’ve spoken to want romance on the regular, rather than on just one day.

So this week, it’s all about the devotion of being devoted to your beloved, and to yourself.

Continue reading

Posted in Dessert, Gluten-free, Late Night Snack | Leave a comment

Butternut squash risotto for my wife

Butternut squash, getting ready for roasting by Cook This...Get Laid.

Butternut squash, getting ready for the roasting oven and RISOTTO. by Cook This…Get Laid.

It’s Craig. Mona’s husband. I want to show you something about how to setup a home dinner date, that’ll also show you how this blog works.

I cook for my wife every week. Risotto is one of my wife’s favorite dishes. If you don’t know the favorite recipe of your wife/girlfriend/fiancé, start asking her. A butternut squash risotto takes 40 minutes to make. I know what you’re saying, but just hear me out as to why you should take the time to cook for her.

Look at this as an opportunity to get closer.  Even when (especially when) you have a long week, take the time out FOR HER. Continue reading

Posted in Dinner, Gluten-free, Lunch | Leave a comment